I remember being moments away from boarding a flight out east to journey to film Justin’s story but having an overwhelming sense that I should not board. Severe storms were ahead and I was convinced that we would not make it and we would have to divert to another city which would cause me to miss a crucial connection. The decision was heavy laden because this was the second time we had scheduled this trip. I recall seeing a priest about to enter the jet and thinking, “Is this a sign I should push through my thoughts and worry and just proceed forward in faith?” I hesitated as a cold and nervous sweat broke out. I had seconds to make my choice. I finally spoke out loud to myself, “I’m not going. That’s it. I can’t do it.” As I turned and walked away from the gate numerous voices began to assail me one after the other. “You’re a coward, you’re a loser, you don’t trust God and He even put a priest on the plane to help you, you’re really going to do this?….”
“I’m so happy with what I’ve found…it’s changed everything.”
Years ago, I began to realize in a very real but still mysterious way God often required that I suffer for certain films according to his own designs. And while I’m far from perfect in this area it is a reality that I have become more accustomed to and try to embrace. Without question, my daily holy hour and mass have helped me immensely to surrender and try to follow where He is leading.
The tremendous trial and setbacks I encountered at the start of this film and during editing were so worth it because what Justin has to say about suffering is seldom realized or spoken of today. He is one of the most amazing young men I’ve ever met and I would gladly go through it all again and more because of what I’ve learned.
And in case you’re curious… the flight never made it! It was diverted to another city. Had I taken it I would have blown the entire trip. My time with Justin is helping me to learn to distinguish where is my voice, God’s voice and the enemy’s voice. I partnered with the Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception to produce this story for their EWTN show, Living Divine Mercy available at: DivineMercyPlus.org.
Like all these films, I’m especially grateful I got to meet Justin and document his amazing story. God truly wants the best for us no matter how suffering arrives at our doorstep. Justin helped me to realize that suffering is really not about suffering and that Our Lord is right there by our side.
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